Don’t Spoil The Surprise
Fab Wedding Advice – Part 1 of 10
Organising a wedding is exciting – and it’s the most natural thing in the world to want to include your nearest and dearest in every detail of what you’re planning. But be warned, if you do so, you risk taking some of the shine off your big day.
For a start, you’re unintentionally running a spoiler, giving away everything you’ve planned, including anything out of the ordinary. There are so many moments that are high points such as when guests see for the first time the bride’s dress, the flowers, the table settings, the car you arrive in – the list goes on.
None of those work quite so well if too many people know what’s coming. You can also dull the experience for yourself if you’re running through the details with others over and over.
Even more important is that by telling others about the cost of the flowers, what your first dance song will be and other details of the day, you’re opening up your decisions for criticism and debate. This is particularly true at the beginning of the wedding planning process when friends and family feel you need the most help. Everyone’s well-intentioned, but it can increase the stress levels and sour the planning process. You might even find your wedding being hijacked by those who are contributing financially and/or have strong personalities.
When your plans are well-advanced, criticism or second-guessing can be even more destructive. You’ve already decided on the flower style, and then you get others saying they aren’t so sure about your choice. It’s undermining, and you don’t need it.
The best plan is to keep what you’re telling people to a minimum, within reason, without upsetting anyone. Talk in generalities where that makes sense, and try not to constantly dive into details.
Some wedding planners advise brides to adopt a policy of talking about details on a need-to-know basis – telling people involved in each aspect of the day what they need to know, but not much more than that.
Of course, it’s not possible or desirable to keep everyone out of the loop. There will be times you want and need to talk things over with others, to get advice or just a second opinion. And after all, you’re not a trained secret agent.
In summary, try to preserve the secrets where you can. Yo
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